When we face loss, disappointment, disease, disaster…fill in the blank…the fall out of emotions can be immense. The process of feeling, healing and recovering can be consuming and, at moments, suffocating. It is in those moments that I have to practice peace continuously. That sentence flutters off the tongue a WHOLE LOT easier than it is to put into motion. Hence the reason, I insert the word ‘practice’. By definition, practice is the repeated exercise of an activity or skill so as to acquire or maintain proficiency. In the past 6 months, Joel and I have walked through 2 miscarriages. Even with all of my training in clearing the mind and focusing and controlling the breath, and all of my experience in prayer and meditation, finding peace has been a challenge. To simply find a healthy breath, much less peace, has been a total exercise. Even if it is stopping every few seconds to remind myself to not let my thoughts trail into fear as my chest tightens and simply bring my mind to my breath, “Breathing in. Now, I am breathing in. Breathing out. Now, I am breathing out.”
Pure love is a great healer. The love of those around me is a great motivator to not stay stuck in despair. I heard a phrase on a girly drama that most of you have probably never watched, Call the Midwife, that said, ‘Loss is made endurable by love and it is love that will echo through eternity’. This gave me peace through the loss of my grandmother, who I got to spend most of a lifetime with. It also comforts me in loss of these two who I never got to meet.
And, perfect love drives out fear. Absolute, complete, having all the required elements, qualities or characteristics of love. As good as it is possible to be love, casts out fear. With time, when the wounds heal, the scars may still remain, but you find strength to get past the fear and try again, or try something different or find something new. Maybe the point is not to be the same but to rebuild something new entirely. Maybe, it is to open your heart to loving those around you more deeply. To have experienced something so that you can comfort those who might experience something similar. Often times, we find solace in even the simplicity of knowing others have felt even remotely what we’ve felt and somehow come out on the other side of it. I tend to think it is part of our humanity. We are wired to want peace, to seek connection and to experience love.
Breath, connect and love more deeply!